Dad I miss you so...

Wish you were here, my darling papa! (there is noone like you - not ever...)
Precious in our hearts - NOW & ALWAYS... SXO



June 1 2009
----
It's been two years now, Daddy-Bud,


since you left this painful plane;


So strange & still surreal, it's hard to grasp


while memories mingle with what appears material -


yet somehow their LucidiTy susTains,


clarity & comfort partially reclaimed:


You'Re with me heRe, & aLL aLong,


in fond FoReVeRs & into far-flung futures


embedded in Eternal's Long Beyond


of visions swirling Into The Minds' Eye...


* * * *


Infinity comes closer as it carries my cries


- the howling of my heart -


out into its cavernous, pitless depths


of knawing kNoWing that the dRead of losing you


has come to pass as true. Then: shuT-doWn


til my brain's next baby-step of bravery


(blown up like opening the door to Bluebeard's 'room'


where the horrors of my fundamental fears are held):


But how can reality become this unbearable finality?


* * * *


Allow me the futility of these LAMENTs for moRe


of what i know & whom i love & those who had

the nerve to slip away without attention paid & fusses made


(How could they just LEAVE like that?)


* * * *


MuST that be the way: to fizzle out & fade away,


too tired for attonement & too tongue-tied for the truth?


* * * *


(Too late to try to turn around this tendency for tragedy,


to type instead what's beautiful from knowing


i'm not nearly DoNe with - wishing i could have more time


with - YOU?) - if not, then i'll attempt to make


the effort it takes to celebrate this empty ache for


more of your character to enjoy,


more of your lofty lessons to learn by,


more of the music that moves us to share,


more works of art to mesmerize and/or despise,


more funnies to amuse us & issues to discuss ~


the cavities you filled & rooms you occupied,


bridges you built between divides,


cups overflowing from pitchers you poured


out of your darling desire to devour every day alive ~


transmuted thru your painstaking toil into


transmissions of deLighT - drawn-in & dished-out alike -


transported to today: i'll treasure these talismen

of your quintessence & marvel at your magnanimity

in sharing what 'in effect' turns out to be MOST precious:


Richly savoured morsels of experience ~


Showing that you cared,


never running scared ~


expressing your abiding love that never wanes...


only regrets & selfishness be tamed


(One day, no more pain)


SaRah C.
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