Monday, July 16, 2007

My brilliant father...


Robert C: Once met, never forgotten...

- but the more you knew him, the more you loved him ~ that's just the
way
it was!
To have him as the family frontman~ our driving force, our major source of strength & inspiration...
impossible to let him go ~ or ever
........ to forget...

~And so we know he'll
be with us



F
O
R
E
V
E
R...
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Saturday, July 14, 2007

Still reeling...

... without my beloved dad - the most unique & true-blue soul, with the purest heart a papa could possess! His love of life ~ his laugh: so infectious & impossible to forget... His gift of lifting our sights to loftier levels & freeing our minds to follow our hearts... Of course he'd want us to carry on, fight the fights & do what's right; stay the course ~ & then: DO MORE.... "HA-ha!"

He even came to understand my yearnings for a kinder meat-free world - or at least, he tried! There were times when NOBODY would LISTEN with such somber, undivided intent: That precious zenith at the meeting of the minds, you knew he threw his heart into that moment when he'd glimpse into the goodness of your soul... To many, he epitomized the best of British gentlemanly virtue mixed with winning boyish charm - of civility & kindness & disarmament in one! The best part is: that's who he truly WAS (You never doubted his intentions would be swiftly followed up with action)... He literally embodied ~ because it just came naturally ~ the unwavering integrity of being TRUE to himself, the joy of not being discouraged by the mundane... & for THAT, let alone the prodigious rest, I feel ULTIMATELY BUOYED to be his darling daughter...
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......(and oh how i wish you were here...)

~ as that initial numbing shock sheds its convoluted layers reluctantly, day by day then week by week then month by month - the padding protecting our minds from messages sent by our pummeled hearts soon melts away like clouds in high wind before you have time to absorb them... You see them, only now they're gone & given way to starkness : Stripped of insulation, your heart is gripped by a taut, breathless ache that hollows out the chest with terrifying clarity ~ & hurls you into another fresh panic of no more tomorrows...

{Must temper those times with memories that make me smile}
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(~ i cherish his appreciation for the painterly me ~)

~ a certain ethereal quality ~


+ that sweetly genuine interest in all the minutae...
















(one of my book illustrations, a hand-colorized photograph)


Remembering him taking in a piece I'd just finished - fully focussed & absorbed in details that others would miss, surprising me with questions that stuck out or made me laugh but always made me sing inside because of his enthrallment with that moment and me... Recalling him in moments like this, the way he made you feel singled-out and special, brings him back vividly for a few joyous seconds...

~Above all he wanted those around him, especially his children & his beloved Margie, to be HAPPY....



PHWOW.




HOW?



I'm not ashamed of the rivers I cry - think, I constantly bawl my eyes out for the ways we humans have (mis-)treated our big mama-jama Earth & all its beautiful living beings.... Today, my silent streaming tears lament the Earth forsaking one I love and cherish; I NEVER want to say goodbye....


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'Coolmind' (nov.'07)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Digital paintings by Sarah Chesterman

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'Sis-Tech'
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'Aquadream'
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'Cool'Cules'
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'MeltingGlobe'
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'GrilledSunset'
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'SunburntNeon'

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